Being selfish

     Lately, I wonder what if I wasn't nice what would happen? Sometimes doing the right thing, isn't the best option. This is an area I truly struggle with but have been getting better at. I hate to say it but sometimes my desire to not hurt anyone backfires and hurts me truly.
     I have lived my entire life with the philosophy that hurting someone is wrong. Do what's best for everyone. I was always tried to put others before me and it looked plausible in most situations. I have the mentality that if I commit a wrong action that karma will take over and punish me in the end. Plus I can't sleep at night if I hurt someone close to me or just a little dog. I tend to analyze things to the extent where sometimes it drives me crazy. That's why sometimes, you just have to be selfish and say "No."
      It all started my junior year in high school. I met this girl named Laura and we didn't get along at first. She was a law abiding citizen. Her two friends and her sat a table in the library together every seminar period.
My friend and I wanted to sit with them but they didn't want to displease the librarians so we had to sit elsewhere. One day, I find Laura wanting to talk to me but I had no clue why. It started as a simple conversation then it progressed into conversations every night on the homework assignments. Some nights, I was so tired that I just wanted to sleep but Laura wanted to finish the homework together. Eventually, my friends took notice and told me that she was taking advantage of me. I didn't notice at first but it became to the point where she wouldn't give me any free moment at home because she wanted to study together. I wanted to tell her "No" but my conscious wouldn't let me. Eventually, I just accepted it and moved on. Prom was coming around and I thought if I asked her, she couldn't say "No". I chose to ask her in the most romantic way I could think of and I got my heart-broken. I eventually became so angry at myself that I just crumpled and had hard times opening up again.
      Today, I have moved on from Laura and learned a valuable lesson. If I would have just told her "No" to helping her, then she would have became frustrated and moved on from me. I wouldn't have experienced depression from her and would have been able to do more productive things. Sometimes in life, you just have to think about yourself rather than others or you will drive yourself crazy.